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EVERDAY IT TOOK OVER 4HRS TO HAVE A SHOWER, I WOULD COLLASPSE ALL THE WAY THROUGH BY MYSELF AND NOT BE ABLE TO PULL MYSELF UP AGAIN, I LOST THE USE OF HOLDING MY BODY UP, THAT DAY, I WAS ON THE FLOOR JUST CRYING OUT TO JESUS HELP ME, I NEED TO HELP, AS WAS ALONE, THERE WAS NO HELP IN HE FORM OF HUMAN, IM SHARING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT HOW AWESOME JESUS IS. THIS BODY OF MINE THAT COULD NOT STAND HE LITERALLY PICKED UP OF THE FLOOR HIMSELF, AND HELD ME UP, HELPED ME THE REST OF THE WAY, THE ONLY TIME THE VOMITING STOPPED, I COULD LITERALLY FELL HIS STRONG ARMS UNDER MINE HOLDING ME AS I RESTED IN HIM , ARND FINISHED MY SHOWER, I HAD COMPLETELY PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE PHYSICALLY TO HAVE DONE THIS ON MY OWN, JESUS HELPED ME GET DRESSED, HELPED ME RING FOR A NURSE, WHICH YOU ONLY WAIT HOURS FOR, TO THREAD ALL THE TUBES BACK THROUGH MY CLOTHES, WHEN FINISHED I WAS STANDING STRONG, AS NEVER HAD BEFORE, JESUS WAS IN THE ROOM WITH ME,……….. AND THEN SAID””””’ YOUR NOT ALONE,””””” AS I CRIED OUT FATHER, I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE ANYMORE I CANT HOLD UP MY BODY AND HAD LOST SO MUCH VISON COULDNT SEE WHAT I WAS DOING……….., LET ALONE THE REST OF WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH,………. GOD GAVE ME VISON THAT DAY, STOPPED THE CONSTANT THROWING UP SHOWERED ME HELPED ME GET DRESSED, AND NEVER LEFT ME FOR A SECOND, ””””’JESUS DOES COME !!!!!!!!!!!! IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED, HE IS ALSO VERY PRACTICAL AND WILL MEET THOSE NEEDS YOU HAVE, FROM THAT MOMENT ON, WHEN I WAS ABLE TO SHOWER, JESUS KEPT ME STANDING DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY, MY LORD AND MY KING, TOUCH THE LIVES OF OTHERS THROUGH THIS AND LET THEM KNOW, JUST HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO THEM IN EVERY SITUATION OF LIFE THEY FACE, PLEASE JUST CALL HIS NAME NO MATTER WHAT !!!!! IT IS HOW SMALL OR BIG, JESUS WILL ANSWER JESUS IS ALREADY THERE……….., JUST WAITING TO HELP YOU. …. PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT WHAT I GO THROUGH LOOK AT WHAT JESUS WILL DO FOR ””””’YOU”””” BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU SOOOOOO MUCH, HE IS VERY PRACTICAL IN YOUR NEEDS, NOT JUST ALL SPIRTUAL HE WILL AND DOES HELP YOU, JUST CALL OUT TO HIM, I PROMISE YOU HE WILL STEP IN !!!

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My Eyes – A window to the soul
Sometimes reveal things you shouldn’t know
My Lips – Utter “I’m just fine”
But I’d tell you more if you’d take the time.
My Face – so flat, no life within
Just can’t feel this pain again.
My Smile – It shines so bright,
Behind it’s where I try to hide.
My Arms – Deformed with scars and lines,
All the words I could not find.
My Heart – How many times can it break?
How much more can I take?
My Ears – Hear a kind word;
Start to believe I‘m still loved.
My Soul – Revived finds a speck of hope;
Pressing forward, believe I can cope.
My Life – Once lost and broken, no hope within
Getting stronger; this fight I can win!

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In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning,

Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. Matthew 2:18

 

There can be no greater pain than a mother putting her baby in a grave.

Her tears that flow like a rushing river, how could this one be taken from her quiver?

She cries herself to sleep at night. Crushed, broken empty, for her babe she’d give her life.

These precious ones have gone on before; we’ll never know what their lives had in store.

Never had a chance to chase their dreams, All taken to early so it seems.

We have no words, we can’t understand; how could this have been His plan.

Great and Loving Father of all to you we lift our voice and call.

Pour out your love and grace; reach down your hands to touch each face.

Comfort and relieve their pain, let them find joy and hope to live again.

Let laughter again fill their home and heart as you give them a brand new start.

Fill them with grace and hope again, let life and joy shine from within.

Remind them You understand their loss; You gave your Son the ultimate cost.

We know no mother should live past her son, or see her daughter’s life done.

We will never understand your way or your plan, but in our weakness and in our doubt help us stand.

Mercy, Love, Peace, Comfort, Joy, Hope, Grace, Healing, Joy –

May Your presence and character surround each one and fill the hole that nothing else will.

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Jesus went unto the Mount of Olives.

And early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came unto Him; and He sat down and taught them.

And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto Him a woman taken in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said unto Him, “Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

Now Moses in the law commanded us that such should be stoned but what sayest thou?”

This they said testing Him, that they might have cause to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground, as though He heard them not.

So when they continued asking Him, He lifted Himself up and said unto them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.

And they who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the eldest even unto the last, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing in the midst.

When Jesus had lifted Himself up and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?”

She said, “No man, Lord.” And Jesus said unto her, “Neither do I condemn thee; go, and sin no more.” John 8:1-11

Whether it be the voices of guilt, shame and regret that seem at times torment our every thought, or the accusations and judgments of those around us, we must stand confidently knowing there is only one true and just judge and He has forgiven us of ALL transgressions. So be strong in the Lord and hold your head high, stop letting the regret, guilt and shame of past mistakes and sins steal the joy and peace that are waiting for you in the here and now. When we come into faith of Jesus as our Savior, He washes the slate clean in His eyes; He removes our sins from as far as the East is from the West.

“Though you sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Psalm 103:12

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us. Isaiah 1:18

I urge then friends to look at yourself from this day forward as one marred with the scars of your your past rather, when you remember that pain, say a short prayer of thanks, because now they are medals declaring the Love, Mercy and Grace that He has given to you. Then turn and look forward, and refuse to go back to being “that person”, doing “those things”, because that is NOT who you are anymore.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Every step forward is one further away from who we were and closer to who He has made us to be! – Keep Going!! 

One breath, One step, One Day at a time,

Gary

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Have you every been given a unexpected gift? A gift that you get at a time that there is no special day or time associated with it, no birthday, no holiday. no anniversary, etc. For many that either personally battle with the challenges of addiction and mental illness or have a loved whom does, that is exactly what they get almost every day. Unfortunately is not in a good way. Addiction is a “gift that keeps on giving.” What kinds of gifts does it “bless” the affected with?

Physical Illness Emotional Pain Poor Self-Esteem Legal Problems

Estranged Relationships Financial Problem Guilt / Shame Hopelessness

Unfortunately, there is no “Day after Christmas” in the real world. There is a strict “no refund, no exchange” policy in reference to these “gifts. Once they have been received, the best that we can do is take them as they come, and attempt to cope with them as best we can. <Kinda like the ugly sweater that Aunt June gave you. You think it is absolutely hideous, but with a smile you put it on and wear it for the day. Then when she goes home you put it in the pile for your next rip to Goodwill.>

Unfortunately as we all know those that battle addiction, do not typically respond to these gifts in a “healthy” or “positive” manner. Many times they are taken as a good “excuse” to continue the negative and destructive behaviors.

This is so typical, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) says this about Substance Abuse (Addiction):

When an individual persists in use of alcohol or other drugs despite problems related to use of the substance, substance dependence may be diagnosed.

This is one pattern of behavior that is needed for a person to be “diagnosed” with a substance abuse disorder.

In my opinion, this is the typical view that has been taken of these “Gifts of Addiction”, the negative and destructive. I want to challenge our paradigm and look at them from a little more positive perspective. Then I want us to look at the greater gifts and rewards that are found on “the other side”, in a life of recovery.

Friedrich Nietzsche (October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900) a 19th-century German philosopher, poet, composer and classical philologist, once said,

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

A couple of similar quotes reinforce this idea.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have had to fight like hell and fighting like hell has made me what I am.John Arbuthnot Fisher

Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition – such as lifting weights – we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.Stephen R. Covey

So what am I trying to say? I would NEVER choose to rewind the clock of time relive any of the struggles of the past including their pain, loss anger, etc. However, as strange as this sounds, I would not go back and undo them if I could either. Despite, all of the negatives that resulted, these struggles come with their own “unexpected gifts”. They develop character. Each one of us is the person that we are because of our experiences good and bad not despite them. These same trials foster strength and courage. Having gone through and overcome these trials, we become stronger and stronger with each obstacle that we conquer. With each step that we take onward and upward, we are stronger and wiser when it comes time to face the next one. It is not easy and will take a lot of work and devotion, but in the end we realize that it was all worth it.

That brings me to the ultimate “unexpected gifts”, the gifts that we discover in a life of recovery. In my experience and communications with those that have known both sides of this coin, there is one gift that is far and above the most treasured, “PEACE”. We learn that life does NOT have to be full of chaos! As we grow and get wiser and stronger, we realize that we are capable of much more than we have ever given ourselves credit for in the past. We realize that we DO have something to share with the world that is around us and it is some thing positive, healthy and beautiful! Life AFTER addiction is just that LIFE! We finally start living and being able to enjoy the experiences of each day rather than simply “surviving”. Life after addiction is a life of daily “unexpected gifts”. That is if we will open our eyes and hearts to be watching for them.

So whether it is your past, your present or you future, I challenge you to open your eyes and your heart and be grateful for each of the “unexpected gifts that come into your life.

Thanks for letting me share one with you in these words!

One breath, one step, one day at a time,

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So the transition begins.

Well, my friends and faithful followers, the time has come and a decision has been made. I am will be over the coming days and weeks transitioning “Road to Recovery” to “Hope in Recovery”.

I actually have mixed feelings regarding this change. I have actually come rather attached to “Road”. However, I have sensed for sometime that I very near to some kind of significant breakthrough on this journey. It may just be that this transition is the very thing that opens that door. I don’t know.

PLEASE be patient with me during this time as it will take sometime to “rebrand” all of my accounts and profiles with the new logo and to acquire appropriate usernames.

In the mean time, “Road” travels on.

I know it has been a while, if it all, since I shared all the R2R links in the same place, but here they are:

Primary Website (A work in progress) – http://rd2recovery.info/

R2R Blog –  http://rd2recovery.wordpress.com/

Primary R2R Facebook Profile –http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002152340858

R2R Facebook Group –http://www.facebook.com/home.php?  sk=group_114328891971667&ap=1

 Twitter -(@rd2recovery) http://twitter.com/rd2recovery

 Youtube – http://youtube.com/rd2recovery

 E-MAIL – rdtorecovery@gmail.com

I have a few other accounts floating around, but I am not as active on them as the ones listed here. I hope you will stick with me. In the midst of the transition, I do have some pieces that are in the works, so be watching.

Even I don’t know when an inspiration is going to hit me in the back of the head just waiting to expressed!

In close, I want to take just a moment to simply say “THANK YOU”.  I am truly humbled and honored that you feel that my words are worth reading. Each day I hope and pray that I can simply be used as a vessel sharing the hope, healing and peace that the Spirit offers. I pray that even in my personal broken state that His love and mercy would be  heard and felt in these words.

Many blessings to you all,

Humbly his servant, 

Gary

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